Self-control or Self-governance – Want More?
Self-control or self-governance is a great predictor of achievement. It also helps keep you away from what is bad for you. If you are interested in self-governance, read Willpower by Roy Baumeister, who has researched self-control.
Since self-governance is so important for you and your organization, it makes sense to know how to develop more. So, let me help - below are 4 of the 5 critical actions that increase your self-governance. The fifth is very powerful, but in separate blogs; Stop Using Your Self-control - Pre-decide" and "Self-governing, Eric Clapton and Hyperbolic Discounting."
Pursue the Best for Others - Delays Your Flashing ME!
The biggest danger to self-control or self-governance is self-absorption. There is no doubt that everyone is selfish and self-absorbed, probably more than you think. The evidence is in the reality of evil in the world. Yes, your environment plays a part, but not as much as your built-in nature to "make everything about ME." You don't have to teach children to lie, be deceptive, or be selfish.
When you pursue the best for other people, it encourages service not self-gratification. And, serving others is one of the best ways to stop focusing on yourself.
Self-governance encourages WE not ME.
Pursue Clear Attainable Goals—Focus on Next Step
Sometimes the change you want takes a long time. And, when your goal is long-term, you may not have enough energy to keep going. That is where milestones and clear short-term targets helps you focus your energy.
Another great help is the awesome tool of Primary and Secondary Choices. It is a simple tool to help you do things that you may not really want to do!
When you pursue the next step of a clear goal, limit yourself to 1 to 3 tasks. That helps you achieve and enhance your self-control or self-governance one day or one step at a time.
Pursue Monitoring—Measure Progress
Even if you focus more on the next step, you need to measure progress. Make sure all of your goals are clearly measurable. And, make sure you use objective evidence, not subjective feelings.
When you measure progress, use an accountability partner or partners. Self-governance wants feedback. And, remember this principle about feedback, "consider all criticism as valid until proven otherwise."
Pursue Frequent Rewards—Practice, Improve, Reward
There is a big difference between self-esteem and self-governance. Self-esteem hurts you and self-governance helps you. Read some great research on the difference, chapter 9 in Willpower. If you want information from Willpower and the biblical perspective on the difference between self-esteem and self-control or self-governance, download this document - Satan Loves This - Do You?
Self-esteem thinks well of self without verifiable evidence. but, self-governance develops when there is evidence of achievement. So, reward yourself when you achieve milestones or your ultimate goal. It isn't the best method, but can help as you grow your self-governance. Ultimately, self-governance is its own reward.
And, for the most powerful action to help you grow your self-governance read this blog.